Do It Yourself Divorce Kit

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Divorce Or Stick it Out? 3 Signs it Might Be Better to Leave

Your Children Should Not Suffer Because of Divorce

Top 10 Reasons to Get Divorced

When There is No Trust - How to Stop a Divorce

Is it Better to Divorce? - 4 Signals the Answer Might Be Yes

The Top 4 Reasons People Divorce

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Top 10 Reasons Why Marriages Fail

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I Want a Divorce But My Spouse Doesn't Want One

Are You Thinking of Leaving Or Ending Your Marriage?

Starting Over After A Divorce - 6 Strategies For Moving Forward Into a New Life

Recovering From a Marriage to a Narcissist - 3 Steps to Moving On

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Divorce Advice For Men - How to Stop Your Ex Wife From Getting All Your Money

How Many Sexless Marriages End in Divorce?

Why is it that over 50% of all marriages (and over 60% of all second marriages) will end up in divorce? Let's go over the 10 top reasons.

Reason #1: Infidelity

Cheating happens because of a deeper reason than the desire to have sex with someone new. Whether it's because of anger, resentment, frustration, or boredom, the act of adultery annihilates the trust and, for many, destroys the marriage.

Reason #2: Physical, Emotional, or Verbal Abuse

Any time there is yelling, hitting, constant arguing, name calling or emotional manipulation going on, you have a marriage that has been compromised on all levels. The trust, love, respect, and safety are gone, leaving spouses feeling like enemies rather than allies.

Reason #3: Money

Couples who do not know how to budget, allocate, save and earn money as a united front end up fighting over financial issues in a very personal and attacking way. Over time, these confrontations kill the relationship. Not having money isn't what causes the breakdown. It's the unwillingness to work together as a team without blaming one another for financial problems that does.

Reason #4: In-Law Problems

When two people marry, whether they care to admit it or not, their families come along with the package. The only exception to this is if the spouse is not close to his or her family or has disowned them. Other than that, a marriage is definitely impacted by the in-laws who can interfere in the marital relationship if the blood-related spouse allows them to.

Reason #5: Life Transitions

People are always changing. Who you marry at 18 will not be who you are married to at 37. Given the constant evolution of all people, it's natural to go through growing pains. We call them mid-life crises or Saturn Returns or Empty Nester Syndrome. No matter what you call it, many couples are unprepared for the radical transformation that occurs as a result. In marriage, two people either grow together or they grow apart. No matter what, they are always growing.

Reason #6: Addictions

Any addiction (alcohol, drug, exercise, overeating, porn, internet usage, gaming) takes a spouse completely out of the life of his or her family and rips from that person a real sense of accountability, availability and participation in the relationship. The other spouse is left to pick up the slack while trying to support the spouse into recovery and, before you know it, burnout occurs. Any addiction, if gone untreated, will destroy a marriage.

Reason #7: Childhood Hang-ups

Every person enters a marriage with some scars from the parent/child relationship. After all, our parents were only human. They were raised by parents who made mistakes and they raised children and made mistakes and we'll raise children and make mistakes. It's natural. What can hurt a marriage is any childhood scar stemming from the parent/child relationship that hasn't been adequately dealt with. If the pattern is ignored and not healed, it will resurface in the marriage and the anger that you felt about how your family treated you will eventually come out in how you communicate with your spouse. Healing and releasing of the past are keys to building a successful marriage.

Reason #8: Drastically Different Life Agendas

Most marital issues can be worked out through cooperation and a willingness to reach common ground. However, there are certain issues that simply cannot be worked out. For example, if you want a big family and you marry someone who doesn't want any children, you're at an impasse if that person never changes his or her mind. If your spouse grew up in a very tight nit family and wants to continue that by living down the street from his/her parents and your desire is to move cross country and begin a new life, you're at an impasse. Even if you convince your spouse to move with you, what you're setting up for is resentment and anger at having to give up his/her dream in the long run. Handling this issue requires wisdom and honesty before getting married.

Reason #9: Life Overload

There is way too much admiration in this society for "super" people. Whether it's a superwoman or a super couple, there's this myth that taking on everything all at once and juggling way too many things makes that person or couple superior to everyone else. Nothing could be farther from the truth. When a couple takes on way too much way too soon (meaning they get married, buy a house, furniture, new car, kids, go back to school, new job, start a business, etc., etc), they spiral themselves into levels of stress and overwhelm that the maturity and strength of their connection is not yet ready to handle. Everything has its proper place and occurs, when we choose it, in its rightful time. To rush things so you can be the "super couple" is to sentence your relationship to a level of imbalance that doesn't need to be there and can, if experienced for too long, lead to divorce.

Reason #10: Controlling Behavior

Especially in marriages where people got married very young, the issue of control comes into play. When you were eighteen, you might've looked to your spouse as a teacher or as someone who could save you. But, as you got older and became more independent, that was no longer a role you needed your spouse to play. Not every spouse likes the loss of control that comes along with that shift. Independence is vital to any healthy marriage. However, when one spouse is used to calling all the shots and having that power be readily accepted by his or her partner, it's a difficult thing when that changes. Some spouses try to impose even more control to keep the power and that's when you move quickly in the direction of a divorce. Anytime you try to make your spouse feel small so you can feel big, you've got a problem and it's not going away.

You've now got the top ten reasons for divorce. Get familiar with each and evaluate your marriage, not simply by these criteria but based on your ability, as a couple, to work through the issues surrounding each reason.

Kassandra Vaughn is the CEO of ROI Coaching, a virtual coaching firm designed to help clients maximize the quality of their lives starting NOW! She is the creator and facilitator of the no-holds barred, step-by-step divorce strategy coaching program called The Ultimate Pre-Divorce Success Program.

10 Low Budget Ways To Move Out of the Family Home Pre-divorce: http://tinyurl.com/nocashwaystomoveout

The Ultimate Pre-Divorce Success Program: http://predivorceplaybook.blogspot.com


Article source: DivorceKit.com